life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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