Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
