I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
