I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
