those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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