Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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