let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
