can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
