Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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