Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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