I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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