The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
