I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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