At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
