put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
