I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
