Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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