just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
