According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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