So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
