just come out here and I will go home with you...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
