How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she pinky promised me she was 18
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
