I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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