i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
