He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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