He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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