Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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