Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
