This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
