You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
