Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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