Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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