3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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