Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
