I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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