i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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