you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
