Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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