Fine. I'll sleep in my office
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
