Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
