Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
