He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
