i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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