these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
