I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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