How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
from now on my penis is your penis
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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