Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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