I must be too annoying 4 u.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
