Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
