I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sorry my hands just texted you
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
