it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
