Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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