This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
