She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
