someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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